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Forced to Face my Fears...Alone

I got the call from our fifteen year old daughter, "Have you heard from Dad, he was supposed to pick me up and he didn't show up." My stomach began to twist into knots, my husband was not the kind of man who didn't show up for our kids.

A bit of paralysis, a feeling in my stomach, a tightness in my chest, I had to force myself to breath...

The phone range again, this time my oldest daughter, "I can't find dad, where is dad,", she was getting in the car to go look for him. Twenty minutes later I get the call of her screaming in a panic.

A numbness began to take over, "Are you sure, how do you know!!" Then the Officer gets on the phone, "Mrs. Lewis is your husband a Sergeant with the City of Riverside Police Department, I'm sorry there is no easy way to tell you this." My daughter Kayla, screaming, it's dad, it's dad, I can see him, it's dad!"

Powerlessness, fear, rage....How is this even happening? 

NO, it's not supposed to happen like this!

He was the one who was supposed to be...

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